Spreading The Gospel

Posts tagged “Domestic Violence

Abuser Magnet or Victim Mentality?


Have any of you ever felt like an abuser magnet or someone who just draws abusive men or women to you? Have you ever felt like you had “sucker” written across your forehead?  You see, these abusive men and women are manipulating, deceiving, and controlling. They know what characteristics to watch for in people to identify those who can be their next victim. I picture them like a spider weaving a huge spider web. They are predatory and bait unsuspecting victims into their traps.

These predators know where to look for their next unsuspecting victim depending on what they want whether at bars, internet dating, singles groups, etc. They also know what to look for… Some look for the women who appear to have low self-esteem and /or lack of self-confidence.  Each time any of us are mistreated or abused, it causes more wounds and causes our self-esteem and self-confidence to take another downward plunge. Our damaged self-image is obvious to these abusive people who prey on others. They identify those who they can sweet-talk and sugar-coat their words to draw them into their traps.  It is a vicious cycle that keeps continuing until we overcome our victim mentality and become victorious.  Some of the traits that they look for is “sweet”, “kind”, “innocent”, and “naive”. Now you may ask how I know this… Well because these are the words that my ex used to describe me and his next wife when he told me that she was just like me.  He had found his next victim…

I encourage all who have been victims to heal before allowing anther person into your life. When we are wounded, we look through distorted eyes. But when we are whole and self-confident, we look with clear vision.  You may be surprised how different the view is when your vision is clear…

And I can also tell you that God heals and God restores. He has plans for each of our lives that are for good, not for harm… to give us a future and a hope. God does not want any of us abused or misused. Seek Him and allow Him to guide your path into your future.

Dear Lord, I pray for healing and restoration of all victims of abuse. I pray that all captives will be set free from the strongholds that keep them in bondage, whether victims or those who abuse. Turn hearts to You, Lord and let them see Your Light shine and guide them out of the darkness… in Jesus’ Name. Amen

by Secret Angel of Secret Angel Ministry and The Abuse Expose’ with Secret Angel

http://www.secretangelministry.org and http://www.secretangelps911.wordpress.com

Photo by  www.etsy.com  and labmf.org


So Many Painful Memories


I want to share this song with you that I heard today.  As this “mashup” played, it symbolized my mixed emotions of the day. I want to remind all of you that no matter what you are going through, God is there to help you. Just reach for Him. He is the Key to overcoming!

So Many Painful Memories.

via So Many Painful Memories.


ABUSE AWARENESS– Cyber-stalking and Cyber-bullying


Cyber-bullying and cyber-stalking

Cyber-stalking is defined as the use of electronic means to stalk or repeatedly harass an individual, a group of individuals, or an organization.

Cyber-bullying is defined as actions that use electronic means to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behavior by an individual or group, that is intended to harm another with the use of internet service and mobile technologies such as web pages and discussion groups as well as messaging with the intention of harming or discrediting another person.

Cyber-bullying vs. cyber-stalking– Sounds basically the same to me but I will clarify:

First, “cyber-stalking is a form of cyber-bullying.”
“The practice of cyber-bullying is not limited to children. The same behavior, identified as cyber-bullying, when involving adults refers to that abuse as cyber-stalking or cyber-harassment. These tactics used by cyber-stalkers are performed in public forums, social media or online information sites and are intended to threaten a victim’s earnings, employment, reputation, or safety. Behaviors may include encouraging others to harass the victim and trying to affect a victim’s online participation. It may include the making of false accusations or statements of fact, monitoring, making threats, identity theft, damage to data or equipment, the solicitation of minors for sex, or gathering information that may be used to harass.”

“Cyber-bullying is summarized as being cruel to others by sending or posting harmful material using a cell phone or the internet. It involves repeated behavior with intent to harm. It is perpetrated through harassment, cyber-stalking, or sending or posting cruel rumors and falsehoods to damage a reputation.”
“Cyber-bullying can be as simple as continuing to send e-mails or messages harassing someone, posting derogatory comments, or it may also include public actions such as repeated threats, sexual remarks, hate speech, or defamatory false accusations, ganging up and ridiculing a victim, and posting false statements as fact aimed a discrediting or humiliating a targeted person. It’s intentions also include to intimidate, control, manipulate, put down, falsely discredit, or humiliate the recipient.”
“A cyber-bully or cyber-stalker may be a person whom the target knows or an online stranger who is anonymous and may solicit involvement of other people online who do not even know the target.”

Legally, “cyber-bullying has been defined by The National Crime Prevention Council: “When the Internet, cell phones or other devices are used to send or post text or images intended to hurt or embarrass another person.”

As bloggers, we are all followed on-line by people that we don’t personally know. However, we should all treat each other with respect. We may not agree with what a blogger says, but then we really don’t need to even go to that blog if we don’t like it. We do not need to harass anyone. We do not need to tear anyone down. We do not need to call anyone names. Discussion is fine. Insults are not. Cyber-bullying has been defined as “when the Internet, cell phones or other devices are used to send or post text or images intended to hurt or embarrass another person”. We should all treat every blogger with the same respect that we would like to receive.

Dear Lord, I ask You to protect Your children from stalking, bullying, and any forms of harassment. Reveal all the evil that is done in darkness or in obscurity and bring it to the Light. Expose all hidden threats and bring peace and comfort to it’s victims. Reveal the truths that are hidden with deception and being conviction to the perpetrators. Turn hearts to You and help us all to treat each other with kindness and respect… in Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Reference: Thanks Wikipedia!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberbullying

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberstalking


ABUSE AWARENESS– Spiritual Abuse


spiritual abuseToday we will continue our series of the various abuses, but today’s topic is probably one that even fewer people want to talk about… Spiritual Abuse. This abuse includes such a wide range of abuses and is so hidden that many people do not pick up on it. Yes, there have been terrible incidences that have made headlines, but the vast majority occur everyday.
Now, again, for simplicity, I will mostly use Wikipedia, which gives basic information, to help me explain this… I am not here to point fingers or accuse anyone or any specific “religion.” We all need to be aware that this occurs under a spirit of control and manipulation. Here goes…

Spiritual Abuse or “Religious abuse refers to any abuse that occurs under the disguise of religion. It can include psychological trauma, harassment or humiliation and also includes misuse of religion for selfish or secular reasons such as abuse of a clerical position to perpetrate abuse.”

Spiritual abuse includes:
“Psychological or emotional abuse with the plan to dominate and control the victim.
Physical abuse includes physical injury and deprivation.
Sexual abuse includes any action or words that demean and humiliate victims of a sexual nature.
Submission to spiritual authority without any right to disagree or make their own spiritual decisions.
False accusation or repeated criticism by labeling a person as disobedient or enemy of church.
Actions preventing or interfering with a person’s practice of faith including isolation like cults.
Dismissal of outsider’s criticism on the basis that the opinions and criticism of the critic is invalid.
Withholding information and giving information only to a selected few with hidden agendas.
Conformity to an unproven, or unnatural, and often dangerous cult-religious view or practice.
Practice of spiritualism, mysticism, and/or unproven doctrines and theology.
Hostility that includes shunning, relational aggression, parental alienation or persecution.
Exaltation of the primary leader(s) to a God-like status in and over the group.
Financial exploitation with required financial support to the group often including a personal financial lifestyle of the leadership that far exceeds the median lifestyle of the group.”

As you can see, there are many things that fall under the topic of spiritual abuse. Many cases involving the sexual exploitation of children are still coming out into the open. Many things are still hidden…

I pray that everything done in darkness will be revealed and brought to the Light. We all have to answer for what we do in this world and God knows every person’s heart and their own intentions. The Bible even talks about this level of accountability in James 3:1..

“Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly.” James 3:1 NLT

Spiritual abuse is real and has hurt many people in the name of “church.” We all need to be aware that this spirit of control and manipulation is active, both in and out of the church. Beware of the “fruits” that those in any position of authority produce…

I write this blog to be educational and inspirational, trying to help other victims of abuse to know that they are not alone and that they are not crazy like I and many others have been made to feel. I do not represent a church. I do not represent a religion. What I represent is a personal relationship… and I share my own personal relationship with my Rescuer with those who follow. I encourage all to seek the Lord and develop a personal relationship with Him. He has a plan for each of us and will never lead us astray. He will never abuse us and will always guide us down the right path for our lives as we trust Him.

References and other readings:
http://www.marydemuth.com/spiritual-abuse-10-ways-to-spot-it/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religious_abuse
http://christiancounselorpastor.wordpress.com/2013/06/13/are-you-recovering-from-spiritual-abuse-i-survived-and-you-cantoo/comment-page-1/#comment-60


God is Always With Us


God is always with us.  He  lifts us up when we are down. He is the answer to all of our problems… He is just waiting for each of us to realize that. He repeatedly tells us in the Bible that He is with us with  healing and restoration. We have to believe Him and reach for Him to help us overcome all of our problems.

Psalm 147:3, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”

Psalm 107:20. “He sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction.”

1 Peter 2:24, “He himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By His wounds you have been healed.”

Isaiah 61:1, He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed.”

Dear Lord, You have repeatedly told us, Your children, that You are with us. You heal… You comfort… You restore… You do all things.  We lift up all the wounded and broken to You and ask for a Mighty Move of Your Spirit across the land with healing and restoration. Lord, turn hearts to You all around the world and deliver us all from the evil that this world produces. We thank You Lord that You are always with us and orchestrate our steps as we trust You with our lives… in Jesus Name. Amen.


ABUSE AWARENESS– Elder Abuse


elder abuseAccording to Wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elder_abuse, “elder abuse is a single, or repeated act of mistreatment or lack of appropriate action, occurring within any relationship where there is an expectation of trust, which causes harm or distress to an older person.”
“The ‘expectation of trust’ is the key. It includes harms by those the older person knows or with whom they have a relationship, such as a spouse, partner or family member, a friend or neighbor, or people who the older person relies on for services.” So elder abuse is not a random act of criminal activity with strangers. It is done by those who the victims trusts…

“Though, there are several types, the main common denominator is the use of power and control by one individual to affect the well-being of an older individual. Some types of elder abuse include:

 

Physicalhitting, punching, slapping, burning, pushing, kicking, restraining, false, or giving excessive or improper medication
Psychological/Emotionalhumiliating, name-calling, ridiculing, constantly criticizing, accusations, blaming, or non verbal forms such as ignoring, silence or shunning.
Financial abuseillegal or unauthorized use of a person’s property, money, pension book or other valuables (including changing the person’s will to name the abuser as heir) by deception, coercion, misrepresentation, undue influence, or theft.
Scam by strangers including fraudulent lotteries or purchases.
Sexualforcing a person to take part in any sexual activity without his or her consent, including conversations of a sexual nature against their will; may also include situations where person is no longer able to give consent (dementia)
Neglect–depriving a person of food, heat, clothing or comfort or essential medication and depriving a person of needed services to force certain kinds of actions, financial and otherwise. The deprivation may be intentional (active neglect) or happen out of lack of knowledge or resources (passive neglect).
Abandonmentdeserting a dependent person with the intent to leave them unattended at a place for such a time period as may be likely to endanger their health or welfare.
Institutional abuse refers to physical or psychological harms, as well as rights violations in settings where care and assistance is provided to dependant older adults or others.”

You see, there are so many abuses in this world. And just like a child should be protected and nurtured, an elder person should be protected and nurtured. The cycle of life begins as a child then eventually becomes an adult then becomes child-like again as we all get older. Everyone should be treated with kindness and respect. No one deserves to be abused.

Dear Lord, please protect Your children, no matter how old, from the youngest to the oldest. We ask that the cycle of abuse be broken so that it will not continue into future generations. We ask you to soften the hearts of all caretakers and bring an abundance of compassion into all who care of the elderly in Jesus’ Name. Amen.

by Secret Angel of Secret Angel Ministry and The Abuse Expose’ with Secret Angel

http://www.secretangelministry and http://www.secretangelps911.wordpress.com

Reference: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elder_abuse


Raise Up Children the Right Way


This is so true. It is easier to raise a child right than to fix them as adults. Words can be very destructive. Be careful what you say to your children. Speak blessings over your children, not curses. Speak positive, and not negative… Raise them up with the instructions from God so they will be healthy, wise, and blessed beyond comprehension.

Psalm 112:1-2 “Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who delights greatly in His commandments. His descendants will be mighty on earth; the generation of the upright will be blessed.”

Proverbs 20:7 “The righteous man walks in his integrity; His children are blessed after him.”

Matthew 18:10 “See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.”

Psalm 19:14 “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.”

Dear Lord, we love our children but You love them even more. Please help us to raise our children up the right way, praying  blessings over them, instead of curses. We lift them up to serve You, Lord. Raise them up to be leaders into the next generations to live in righteousness and doing all to glorify You, in Jesus’ Name. Amen.

by Secret Angel of Secret Angel Ministry and The Abuse Expose’ with Secret Angel
http://www.secretangelministry.org and http://www.secretangelps911.wordpress.com

Protect all the children! Stop child abuse!


Feelings of worthlessness,

starting at a young age.

Dealing with fear and shame,

dealt by an adult’s rage.

Hopeless feelings,

in one so young.

When they should be happy,

with their lives just begun.

How can this happen?

How can children feel so rejected?

When children should be loved,

and should always be protected.

No inappropriate touching!

No inappropriate anger and use!

Protect all the children,

and stop all child abuse!


ABUSE AWARENESS– Child Abuse


 

Little Girl and Scary Shadow on WhiteAccording to Wikipedia, “Child abuse is the physical, sexual, emotional maltreatment, or neglect of a child or children.
There are four major categories of child abuse: neglect, physical abuse, psychological or emotional abuse, and sexual abuse.”

“Physical abuse involves physical aggression directed at a child by an adult as well as the deliberate infliction of serious injuries, or actions that place the child at obvious risk of serious injury or death. CHILD ABUSE2

“Child sexual abuse is a form of child abuse in which an adult or older adolescent abuses a child for sexual stimulation. Sexual abuse refers to the participation of a child in a sexual act aimed toward the physical gratification or the financial profit of the person committing the act. These include asking or pressuring a child to engage in sexual activities, indecent exposure, displaying pornography to a child, actual sexual contact with a child, physical contact with the child’s genitals, viewing of the child’s genitalia without physical contact, or using a child to produce child pornography.”

“Emotional abuse is defined as the production of psychological and social deficits in the growth of a child as a result of behavior such as loud yelling, coarse and rude attitude, inattention, and harsh criticism. Other examples include name-calling, ridicule, degradation, destruction of personal belongings, torture or killing of a pet, excessive criticism, inappropriate or excessive demands, withholding communication, and routine labeling or humiliation.”

“Child neglect is the failure of a parent or other person with responsibility for the child to provide needed food, clothing, shelter, medical care, or supervision to the degree that the child’s health, safety, and well-being are threatened with harm.” Neglect is also a lack of attention from the people surrounding a child.”

Now, when I look at all of these descriptions of the various forms of child abuse, my heart just goes out to the millions of people who have been hurt by these abuses. So many people intentionally do these things to their children! However, there are even many more who do some of these things to their children, not even realizing that it is a form of child abuse and that they are inflicting harm to their child. You see, the wounds that occur in childhood affect the decisions that the child makes as an adult. That is why so many people get trapped in a cycle of abuse…
We should all protect and nurture our children, even before birth, so that they can be happy, healthy, and reach the highest potential that they were intended to achieve.
We should BUILD CHILDREN UP…NOT TEAR THEM DOWN! No child should live in FEAR…

Prayer: Dear Lord, please rescue Your children. Protect the innocent who need nurturing and love, not abuse and destruction.  Please break the cycle of abuse that it will no longer plague new generations of youth. Raise these children up to be leaders for You into the future generations… in Jesus’ Name. Amen.

by Secret Angel of Secret Angel Ministry and The Abuse Expose’ with Secret Angel

http://www.secretangelministry.org and http://www.secretangelps911.wordpress.com

Resource : Wikipedia at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_abuse…


ABUSE AWARENESS– Psychological Abuse


abuse

Psychological abuse and emotional abuse are used interchangeably. What I have found as I have researched the difference is that psychological abuse varies by the degree of abuse that causes psychological harm. If a victim gets out of an abusive situation early, the degree of psychological trauma may be less than one who spends a long time or a lifetime in that situation, depending on what has occurred to the victim. Some of these psychological traumas include chronic depression, anxiety disorders, or even PTSD. Psychological abuse is associated with situations of power imbalance and even situations where the abuser causes fear of the outside world in their victims. When the psychological development of a victim is altered, I feel that it leans more towards being called psychological abuse.

So again, psychological abuse and emotional abuse are in most cases the same thing. I feel that the degree of the abuse and the degree of trauma more or less constitutes if it should be called emotional or psychological abuse. Now as a former victim, who has suffered from PTSD from the abuses, I can tell you that whatever it’s called, it still hurts…

Prayer: Dear Lord, expose the abuses done in secret. Bring all that is done in darkness into the Light. Protect Your children from the abuses of this world and bring healing and restoration to all. Deliver and set us free from these abuses and raise us up to speak out about these abuses. Break the cycle of abuse so it will no longer continue into our future generations… in Jesus’ Name. Amen.

by Secret Angel of Secret Angel Ministry and The Abuse Expose’ with Secret Angel

http://www.secretangelministry.org and http://www.secretangelps911.wordpress.com